Drinking Games
by Matsuko Hirioko
Summary: What happens when Lavi, Kanda and Allen get drunk together? Bees, marshmallow fights, kissing and other hilarity ensue when Lavi and Kanda decide to turn Moyashi into a man. Oneshot, KandaxLavi. Rated M to be safe.


**Hi guys!**

**This idea suddenly ran screaming into my head, so I decided to run with it. And since I have no idea what it's like to be drunk, I'm just going by instincts here.**

**Warning: Strong language, shonen-ai and consumption of alcohol. Oh, also, another weird ending.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own D.Gray-Man. It belongs to Katsura Hoshino. I also do not support under-age drinking.**

**Okay, here goes.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"I have never gotten drunk."

Those 5 words were inconcievable to Kanda, Lavi and Lenalee. Then, to Allen's chagrin, they burst out laughing.

"Are you SERIOUS?!" Lavi asked mid-laugh.

"Yes. The only time I've ever had alcohol is on accident." Allen replied.

"Well, what you need to do is get drunk with Kanda and I." Lavi suggested.

"Yeah. Getting drunk with them is fun. Right, Kanda?" Lenalee asked jokingly. Kanda grumbled and simply folded his arms.

"Okay! C'mon, Allen. We were going to let off some steam tonight anyways. Are you gonna join us, Lenalee?" Lavi asked.

"No, I can't. Komui has stuff for me to do. Plus, as fun as it was, the hangover hurt like hell. Have fun, though!" Lenalee replied, before walking away.

"Well, let's go pick out our liquor." Kanda said. Lavi smiled and grabbed Allen's arm.

They went to a hole-in-the-wall liquor store tucked away in London. Kanda and Lavi waved their I.D.'s and said Allen was with them. Lavi presented Allen to the shelf with vodka on it.

"You can pick some if you want." Lavi said. Allen awkwardly pointed to a bottle of raspberry flavored vodka. Lavi smiled.

"Good choice. Hey Yuu, get some whiskey and coolers, will you?" Lavi called over. Kanda glanced over and nodded. Lavi took the bottle of vodka Allen had picked out and made his way over to a shelf holding rum. He picked out a bottle and went over to pay with Kanda. After showing their I.D.s, they were rung through. They left the liquor store laughing.

"This is going to be way too awesome." Lavi said excitedly. "It's going to be fun seeing how Allen behaves when he's drunk."

"No kidding. Tonight is the night we turn Moyashi into a man!" Kanda said, surprisingly in tune with the whole getting drunk thing. Allen was silent for the whole walk back to Kanda's room.

It was decided the the consumption of alcohol would be held in Kanda's room because Allen's had too much stuff in it and Lavi couldn't afford to spill anything on Bookman's documents.

In Kanda's room, the various bottles of alcohol were laid out on the floor. Kanda also had three shot glasses, along with cola to mix.

"Okay. Time for us to play Kanda's favorite drinking game." Lavi said. Kanda growled at the redhead.

"Okay...how does it go?" Allen asked. Lavi and Kanda smirked. Lavi opened a cooler and took a drink. Without hesitation, he pressed his lips to Kanda's and it was obvious that the liquid had been passed through into Kanda's mouth. Allen watched in shock. Kanda smirked and licked his lips. He kissed Lavi again, slowly pushing him towards the ground. Lavi broke off the kiss.

"Now, now...not in front of the children." Lavi said teasingly. Allen was too shocked to speak. Kanda looked a bit annoyed.

"Come on, Allen! What good is alcohol if you can't drink it? Loosen up!" Lavi said, sliding a cooler Allen's way. The white haired boy took a look at it and shrugged. What was the worst that could happen? Being drunk was a good excuse. He opened the cooler, said cheers and emptied it halfway. He was overwhelmed by a feeling like he was floating slightly.

"Whoa..." Allen said. Lavi and Kanda laughed.

"That's called a buzz." Kanda explained. "Usagi, pass me the bottle of whiskey."

"What?! Aww...but I wanted to drink some first." Lavi pouted. He handed Kanda the bottle. Kanda hastily opened it, taking a long slug of the stuff, making Lavi's jaw drop.

"Hey! That's more than half!" he whined. Kanda jabbed him and pressed his lips to Lavi's. Lavi smiled and swallowed the whiskey. He frowned slightly when Kanda broke off the kiss. Lavi grumbled and grabbed the bottle of whiskey, taking a drink.

Meanwhile, Allen had finished his cooler. The alcohol was slowly kicking in.

"Hey, pass me the bottle of vodka I picked out." Allen asked.

"All right!" Lavi said happily, handing Allen the vodka. He poured it into a shotglass, added some cola and knocked it back. Lavi took another sip of whiskey, while Kanda was finishing the cooler Lavi had opened.

"D-damn it...we only bought that six pack of coolers and the whiskey's almost gone. What do we do?" Lavi asked, speech slightly slurred.

"I know! My master had a liquor cabinet in his room. We go steal from there!" Allen replied. Kanda and Lavi smiled.

After mucking about in the hallways trying to find General Cross's room, they hit the jackpot. Fine whiskey, rum and scotch were untouched in the cabinet. The boys went away with their prize back to Kanda's room.

Then the real drinking began. They found glasses and began mixing the alcohol with the cola. About half an hour later, they were as drunk as they were going to get.

"Holy shit, guys! Let's have a marshmallow fight!" Allen said in his drunken state. Lavi laughed.

"What are you talking about? There are no fucking marshmallows."

"No, no! There are! Can't you see them?"

Lavi paused.

"Whoa, shit dude! Kanda! Come and join us, man!"

Kanda stood up, staggered, then the boys began throwing imaginary marshmallows at each other. About 30 seconds later, they collapsed laughing.

"Dude that was fun." Allen said.

"Yeah." Lavi said. Allen had grabbed his bottle of vodka and took a sip. During Allen's unattentiveness, Kanda had climbed on top of Lavi.

"Now?" he asked.

"Now." Lavi said. Finally, they engaged in their passionate liplock. Looking back, Allen cheered and kept whooping it up. Both Kanda and Lavi's exorcist coats were off and they had a couple buttons on their shirts undone. The drunken white haired boy fell silent and resorted to sipping on his vodka quietly. Quiet moans had escaped their lips. Kanda's hand slid down Lavi's chest, but a hand stopped him at Lavi's thigh. Lavi broke off the kiss for some air. Kanda looked disappointed. He lifted his hand off of Lavi's thigh. Allen suddenly jumped up, surprising the drunken lovers.

"Guys! There are bees on the other side of this door!" Allen said loudly, pressing his ear against the door.

"Dude, that's not good." Lavi mumbled, sipping some whiskey.

"Fucking eh! That happened last time!" Kanda yelled. Allen appeared to be struggling with keeping the door shut.

"Damn it! They're trying to get in. THEY WANT MY VODKA!!" Allen yelled at the top of his lungs. It was a good thing that Kanda's room was at the end of the hall and was across from and empty room. Suddenly, Allen flew away from the door, making Kanda and Lavi jump again.

"NO! NOO! THEY'RE SWARMING! THEY'RE FUCKING SWARMING! THEY'RE IN MY HEAD! BEEEEEEEEEES!" Allen screamed, writhing on the floor as imaginary bees stung him. Although they couldn't hear her, Lenalee had her ear pressed to the door, laughing her head off.

Lavi was able to get himself from under Kanda and rushed over to Allen, trying to swat bees that weren't there. Allen stopped twitching on the floor. Kanda quietly watched, filling with a drunken jealously as his Usagi touched Allen. Somehow, Lavi had tripped over himself and fell on top of Allen.

"Sorry..." Lavi said. Allen laughed.

"No problemo, captain," he replied, his speech slurred.

To Kanda's relief, Lavi got off of Allen and and staggered back over to his dismayed lover. He smirked and took a drink of rum. Swallowing, he engaged Kanda in another kiss. Kanda expressed he didn't want his Usagi going back over to Allen by putting a firm arm around Lavi's waist. Lavi smiled and traced Kanda's palm with his finger in assurance. He broke off the kiss and wrapped his arms around Kanda's waist.

"I'm your Usagi, Kanda..." he reminded him quietly before kissing his drunken lover's warm forehead. His fingers slid in between Kanda's. He looked into Kanda's blue eyes.

"...I know." the raven haired exorcist whispered back. Lavi smiled.

While being ignored in the corner, Allen formally passed out. Lavi glanced at the comatose exorcist. He laughed loudly.

"Look at him. He's already out! What will we do?" he asked Kanda. Kanda smirked.

Laughing and giggling, Kanda and Lavi drew all over his face with a grease pen, adorned his head in a pair of Kanda's boxers, and soaked his exorcist coat in the leftover liquor. Now they were just about to pass out themselves. They settled themselves into Kanda's bed, exchanging soft kisses. Kanda was out first, followed shortly after by Lavi.

"Even when we can't remember, Kanda, I'll still always be yours..."


End file.
